The 10 most innovative excuses you can make when you miss a deadline
Deadlines are evil. There is some propaganda going around about how deadlines bring out the best in you, but the unadulterated truth is that if deadlines were a character in Harry Potter, they’d definitely be on Voldemort’s side. A lot of us, therefore, make a point of missing them. Sometimes our reasons are genuine (dogs do eat homework) and sometimes we just want to have fun. But you can’t really tell your boss that, can you? Help’s here!
1. My search engine crashed: — Everyone knows Google does your work for you, but you can’t say Google crashed. Make a solemn face and inform your boss that Bing crashed the previous day. No one uses Bing, and there’s no way your boss would find out. It wouldn’t even make news. The only risk is that your boss may ask you why you use Bing, at which you can tell him you’re a non-conformist.
2. IPL match: — Tell your boss you went to watch an IPL match live. Watch him boil in anger and just before he shouts at you, tell him how you got to be on TV and how the company’s logo was on your t-shirt. Say “Free marketing, sir!” jumping around excitedly. You may even get a raise.
3. Claim a sudden burst of patriotism: — Walk into office dressed in saffron, white and green. When your boss asks you why your project is late, innocently say, “But I’m an Indian. I follow the Saka calendar, and I’m still in 1934. I have 78 years left!” For better effect, change your ringtone to Saare Jahan Se Achha.
4. Go on a strike: — Tell your boss you find the unrest in Syria very disturbing and you cannot work in a world that is so unjust. Bring a banner along to put your point across better.
5. Invoke the Global Warming: — Say the world’s ending pretty soon and your project’s not going to survive anyway, so there’s no point doing it. Look forlorn all day.
6. Spent all my stipend: — Tell your boss you got so tired of working that you visited an online shopping site to chill out a bit, and you ended up spending all your stipend there (nice opportunity to mention how small your stipend is). Say you need a few days’ time to reflect on your misfortune.
7. My watchman died: — So aunts and grandmothers have died several times because of your procrastination. Make your watchman the victim this time, and say your building was way too vulnerable for you to even look away from the windows. Also say you kept hearing suspicious noises all the time and were very jumpy and so couldn’t work.
8. Blame the roads: — Say you couldn’t work because you have a backache as there were too many potholes on the road. Launch into a tirade about the dismal condition of the city’s roads. Your boss is sure to join in.
9. Do a Ghajini: — Say you have short-term memory loss and forgot about the deadline. Get a tattoo of a random mobile number on your arm and let your boss see it. He’ll probably be too scared to tick you off. For best results, walk around with an angry face.
10. It’s for my health: — Say your work involves sitting at the computer for too long, and you went bungee jumping over the weekend. Also say that if you hadn’t done that, you’d be at a higher risk of coronary disease and surely the company didn’t want one of their employees having a heart attack at work? Later in the day, casually mention something about your lawyer friend who’s an expert at filing lawsuits.
Tell us about the weirdest excuses you’ve made! And just so you don’t have to make such excuses, finish your work on time. ;)
Image credit: http://www.ronitbaras.com
